Based on the ancient Taoist principle of “wu wei”, which means living in harmony with the Tao as the fullness of life, Jim uses the playful adaptation “Woo Way” to develop learning exercises that enhance the lives of people today. The Woo Way is an experiential journey that opens greater access to personal freedom and leads to more balance and wholeness. It is a life-altering experience because it encourages greater awareness, new choices, and new practices, which lead to change. Automatic patterns are replaced with conscious choices. Personal suffering and stress are reduced while happiness, contentment, and wisdom expand. You discover that life does not have to be such a struggle. It can be easier and more fun. As you nourish that ease and playfulness, you realize the words of the Woo Master: “Reduce burden on mind and watch your feet do a little dance.”
Contents
There Is Another Way Of Living And Being
We live in ways that reduce our happiness and well-being. This ordinary way of life is so automatic, we seldom pause to ask if it can be changed. The Woo Way cultivates awareness, choice and change. It creates the possibility of living and being in a new way.
Part I
Living In Automatic
In the following chapters, we learn about what dominates us automatically.
With this awareness, we can make new choices and change how we think, act, and live. When we do, life moves from being a routine into a life-long adventure.
Chapter 1: You Have The Power To Change
We think we are free, but we live in automatic like machines. Even though we often think and behave like robots, we have the capacity for awareness, choice, and change. This makes remodeling of the self possible, so we have more control over what we think, say, and do.
Chapter 2: Ideals Have Teeth
Our ideals can make us suffer. We are constantly measuring ourselves
and others against our standards and society’s expectations. When
those ideals lean toward perfectionism, they develop sharp teeth that
can bite into us.
Chapter 3: I Want To Look Good And Be Accepted
We try to look good and be accepted by others. When we succeed, we
feel great. When we fail, we feel terrible. Awareness of this automatic
pattern gives us the choice to embrace looking bad and rejection so we
can care less about proving our worth to others.
Chapter 4: I Want Independence And Control
Independence and control are prized in our society. When we achieve
them, confidence gives rise to good feelings and success. When we fail,
we may feel trapped, dominated, and unhappy. Through awareness, a
new way to deal with these issues is discovered.
Chapter 5: I Want To Be Right
Imagine someone saying to you, “You’re wrong.” How do you automatically
react? Probably with resistance, because we love being right and dislike being wrong about our beliefs. Being right gives us a feeling of control and certainty. Knowing this, we get to make a change.
Chapter 6: I Need To Feel Safe
Human beings have many fears. Some are obvious and others dominate
us from the shadows. We are constantly managing our safety so we can
survive and succeed. When we know what controls us in the realm of
security, new choices appear.
Chapter 7: Restoring A Shrinking Ego
Our egos are like balloons that constantly expand and deflate. We love
the inflations, but suffer from the deflations. There is a way to restore
the size of a shrinking ego by making a “recovery claim.” When we do,
we develop more control over our reactions to what others say or do.
Part II
Everyone Is Telling Stories
We may suffer because of the stories we tell ourselves and others.
When we are aware of how our stories undermine our well-being and
our relationships, we can put a stop to them. The next chapters uncover the
different stories we tell and reveal the price we pay for telling them.
Chapter 8: Weaving Stories Of Deception
Two deceptive practices we employ in our storytelling are omission of
the truth and giving false information, also known as blatant lying.
These forms of deception can damage our relationships because they
undermine trust. Honesty has the opposite effect.
Chapter 9: The Power Of Your Word
Watch what people do, not just what they say. How many people say
one thing and do another? Do we trust their word? When we honestly
communicate what we intend to do, then do it, we begin to live with
greater integrity. Others trust what we say, so our relationships work
better.
Chapter 10: Just The Facts
Since our minds want certainty, we make up stories about people and
situations where we have little or no information. We can suffer from
the stories we make up. When we quit telling the stories and just state
the facts, we put a stop to the suffering and move into greater effectiveness.
Chapter 11: Stories Can Become Thought Prisons
Do we blame something in the past for our lives not working? How
many of us create stories about the present that limit us and make us
unhappy? How many of us paint a bleak picture of the future? Understanding
what we get from those stories, a new choice appears.
Part III
Making Relationships Work
Trying to make relationships work well is challenging. We may wonder
why it is so difficult and how to make it easier. In the following
chapters, new ways of thinking about relationships emerge, so new
choices and practices appear.
Chapter 12: Quiet And Talkative People
Learning about the type of human animal we are is important for understanding how we relate to other people. Realizing that we are a quiet or
talkative person is liberating. Personal growth expands by accepting our type or by developing our neglected abilities.
Chapter 13: Families Are Like Zoos
Cooperation and conflict between people often emerge from differences
of psychological type. Human animals with different natures try to
change each other, but these reform efforts rarely succeed. Learning to
accept differences of type improves relationships and expands love.
Chapter 14: Attraction Does Not Insure Satisfaction
What is the magic of personal attraction and how can it get us into trouble?
We are sometimes attracted to potential mates or friends who later
become “nightmares.” When we understand our needs, more conscious
choices about our relationships become possible.
Chapter 15: High Ideals Can Ruin Relationships
Some of us enter relationships hoping that they will be perfect. Since
relationships cannot possibly meet such high expectations, we become
disappointed. When we accept all relationships as flawed, we are able
to consciously cultivate mutual satisfaction.
Chapter 16: Listening Deeply
We seldom listen carefully to others, so our relationships suffer. Deep
listening can improve relationships overnight. By learning to listen at
four levels, we achieve depth in the way we listen, so greater mutual
understanding develops. From that understanding, relationships deepen.
Chapter 17: Speaking To Be Fully Understood
Once we know how to listen deeply, we can communicate deeply. Deep
listening and speaking move us from blaming to co-creating solutions
to problems. By listening and speaking at depth, relationships improve
and everyone benefits.
Chapter 18: Fixing And Improving Relationships
Most of us have no clear procedures for solving our relationship problems or improving them when things are going well. A strategy for co-creating
ideas to solve problems and improve relationships is introduced and practiced.
Chapter 19: Cleaning Up Relationships
Knowing how to clean up relationships is important. When we fail to
do the clean up work, the past can become a heavy weight on our minds.
Forgiveness, acceptance, and completion are ways of cleaning up our
relationships, so the present and future become our focus.
Part IV
Developing Balance, Wholeness, And Wisdom
We live out of balance and pay a price. In the following chapters, we
explore our dual nature, our tendency to suffer from negative thoughts,
and how we can cultivate more balance, wholeness, and wisdom in our
lives.
Chapter 20: Life Out Of Balance
We suffer from living in a one-sided way, because we are of two minds.
We have a dual nature, so contradiction is not something to avoid but
embrace. When we integrate the opposites within us, we become more
balanced, which is a goal of “individuation.”
Chapter 21: Shadow Projection
Wanting to look good, we project our neglected shadow side onto others,
and then dislike or hate them for it. Awareness of this pattern gives
us the opportunity to take back our projections and reclaim the two sides
of our nature.
Chapter 22: Cultivating Wisdom
Instead of looking to others for wisdom, we seek wisdom from within
ourselves. To cultivate it, we consult with our inner wise person and
then discover that we already carry wisdom in our pocket. When we use
it, our lives work better.
Chapter 23: Thoughts Can Torture You
Many of us construct mental torture chambers where we suffer “on the
rack” of our own negative thinking. Becoming aware of this pattern, we
get into the “director’s chair” and learn to stop the thoughts that make
us suffer.
Chapter 24: Fears Are Often Exaggerations
Worriers suffer from exaggerated estimates of bad things happening.
By understanding fear as a thought that magnifies misfortune, we claim
more freedom of choice about it. By using the “1% rule,” the size of
our fear is reduced so it no longer stops us automatically.
Chapter 25: No Resistance
We expect and desire things to be a certain way and when they appear
otherwise, we become frustrated or angry. By putting up resistance to
the way life occurs, we cultivate stress and lives of discontent. By stopping
the resistance, living becomes easier.
Chapter 26: Reducing The Size Of Your Problems
Some of us are experts at making little problems into big ones, then we
suffer from the added weight. When we learn to see with the eyes of
the mouse and the buffalo, we reduce the size of our problems. With
less weighty problems, we have less weighty lives.
Chapter 27: Creating Your Life
Our lives are our own creations. Using our creativity, we invent a new
identity, life purposes, and ethical principles as if our life were starting
now. We make up the reasons why we were born in order to make our
lives count.
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